June 23, 2004

Jingoism Gone Awry - Star Spangled doodles

POST #    1119

I'm always one to try "new" products and fall for marketing gimmicks (see Shrek Cheetos), but I think this might reach a new level. Wise has rolled out the "Star Spangled doodles", their white cheddar cheez doodle with some specks of red and blue and a patriotic bag. I'm not sure what's worse, the fact that they are dubbing it "Star Spangled" or that they slapped this silly packaging on it.

I've yet to try them yet, since I actually cooked last night, but I think they are calling my name. "Tien, be patriotic, eat us...eat us!!! If you don't, you're not American..." Sorry, left over hallucinations from the Phish concert.

Lest the consumer get confused about the product, Wise has summarized the Star Spangled doodles on the back of the bag.

Summertime is the perfect time for parades, picnics and Wise Star-Spangled doodles. Made with real premium White Cheddar Cheese, Star-Spangled doodles are the delicious, all-American snack that goes great with summer fun, barbeques and patriotic celebrations!

Wise Star-Spangled doodles are packed with the same mouth-watering flavor as Wise White Cheddar cheez doodles, but also festively decorated with Red & Blue sparkles. The combination of cheezy flavor and patriotic colors makes Star-Spangled doodles a truly revolutionary snack sensation!

I feel über-American now. Hooray!

- See the full bag here.
- Read the back of the bag here.

Posted by tien mao in Food/Drink at 8:48 AM

 

 

It sounds like if you do not eat them the terrorists have won!

By the way, you could also call them "selpoops" because that's what they are upside-down... Kinda like "spap-oops" are actually doo-dads...

Posted by: Sam at June 23, 2004 4:10 PM

i think the wise people think the terrorists have won if you don't buy them. good thing i bought them. i feel so much safer and secure now.

Posted by: tien at June 23, 2004 4:38 PM

Don't you ever stick those in your mouth tien. Very bad. Bad bad bad. I find that filth in your hands and you will get a spanking! Do I make my self perfectly clear young man!

Posted by: jocelyn at June 23, 2004 7:50 PM

saw their website on the back of the bag,visited it, am fairly sure its a front for some al-quaida network,its just...is t00 american,its almost sickening,oh and im no medical professional but im willing to bet those snacks can kill you, cheddar arteries, mmMMMmm.

Posted by: t.g. at June 23, 2004 7:54 PM

lol! "left over hallucinations from the Phish concert" - haha, classic. I wouldn't be surprised if Wise decided to stick with the "American" theme and release a "carb-free" version of these next week.

Posted by: Chris at June 24, 2004 11:54 AM

spanking hmm? stick to my mouth and stick to my arteries...good thing i have yet to eat one.

no doubt about that carb free version chris. maybe they can make some crunchy star spangled doodles too.

Posted by: tien at June 24, 2004 12:11 PM

er..july 4th?

Posted by: Opiate at June 24, 2004 8:16 PM

yeah, jackass. i know that. doesn't mean it doesn't stink of jingoism. idiot.

Posted by: tien at June 24, 2004 9:27 PM

Didn't mean for you to take what I said that way. I agree somewhat, but it's the holidays and time for the corps to cash in.

Posted by: Opiate at June 26, 2004 11:14 PM

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