October 6, 2003

ikea is a pain in the ass

POST #    433

i'm not really going to open any eyes when i say that ikea is the largest pain in the ass store...ever. it's not just the assembly part, but the whole process. they make you trek out to an industrial area where there is nothing to do but shop. once there, if you can find parking, they herd you through their pre-designed rooms. if you want to order anything in the rooms, you have to copy all these numbers and maybe even wait 20 minutes to talk to a sales person. then once you're finally off the showroom floor, you have to find your items in the warehouse - another pain in the ass. if you manage to find all your items and place them in the coveted shopping cart, you then get to pay. this is the most pleasant part of the ikea experience. after all your items are rung up, the display only reads like $200, yet you have a new desk, a matching hutch, and file cabinet, as well as 50 other items you picked up along the way. after lugging your new stuff home, the real pain begins. you have to assemble all the compressed "wood" that you just bought. the instructions are just pictures with cartoon people that are smiling. in reality, you never smile when assembling ikea stuff. you actually consider yourself lucky if you have all the parts needed for assembly. two hours later, you finally have your stuff assembled, and all for $200. you realize that all the other 20-something people have the exact same desk, but only in a different color. you also realize that if you ever move, this stuff will probably be useless to you since you would rather go to ikea again and deal with the pain than moving stuff. it's an endless cycle that ends only when you reach your 30s.

that said, i'll be soliciting help with my ikea stuff when i move into a new apartment.

Posted by tien mao in Rants at 11:57 AM



ah, quit your whining. ikea is what it is. the reason its cheap is b/c you do all that stuff you don't like. if you don't want to do all that, you don't have to. and i'm assuming you went to the ikea in elizabeth, which is, by far, the worst ikea i've ever been to. it might be the worst store period. way too many people in the area for just that store.

and putting together ikea furniture is easy as hell.

Posted by: dan at October 6, 2003 1:24 PM

yeah, i know why it's cheap. and yes, it's pretty easy. but i'm just lazy, which is a big factor in my bitching.

there is actually another store in long island that supposedly eases the burdern on the elizabeth store.

Posted by: tien at October 6, 2003 1:32 PM

2 words: online ordering

Posted by: rachelleb at October 6, 2003 4:54 PM


phone ordering.

ive never ordered furniture but i got some hooks and rugs and shelves pretty easily from ordering from the catalog.

Posted by: rachelleb at October 6, 2003 4:54 PM

what do you mean "there is nothing to do but shop"? there is a "cafe" in ikea. the smell of their cinnamon buns is an opiate. and there's that lingonberry juice you can get (never had it, just like saying "lingonberry").

yeah - quit your bitching. ikea is good-looking furniture. it gets a bad rap from everyone. so what if ppl recognize your furniture and everyone has it? the alternative is shopping at expensive furniture stores, shitty ones (see seaman's first!), dumpster diving, or going to flea markets to find more expensive furniture. long live ikea! (well, until we can afford better furniture ;))

Posted by: jeannette at October 6, 2003 10:15 PM

i must agree that the instructions are less than handy. would it really be that much more expensive to publish them in a few recognizable languages? i don't think they actually know how to assemble this junk. they just make the little assembly guy look pleased with himself and hope that you figure it all out yourself.

Posted by: jess at October 7, 2003 9:32 AM

i like going to ikea for the swedish meatball lunch. that place is a madhouse. i always find myself wondering why parents can't just leave their rugrats at home, but then i realize that ikea is supposed to be family friendly and families are supposed to do stuff together on the weekends. ikea has some good stuff. you just have to pick and choose. my apartment is pretty much outfitted by ikea, straight from the crate, workbench, and sleepy's. i'm looking forward to checking out the west elm store in brooklyn (i get their catalogs but i want to see the goods in person) and there's this shop on madison and 30th (?) called bo concept that has some moderately priced stuff.

jeannette: that lingonberry juice is great, btw.

Posted by: el at October 7, 2003 10:18 AM

sweedish meatballs are the bomb. i actually had some on saturday after having oysters. great combo, i know. my first sweedish meatball experience was in 2nd grade when our teacher invited the class over for dinner. it was great. she and her husband are sweedish and he was a chef. perfect.

el - there is a store in my hood on 32nd and park, workbench, i think, that has "going out of business signs" in the windows. west elm is going to open a store? oh, and your email addresses make me laugh.

Posted by: tien at October 7, 2003 10:32 AM

i heard something about west elm's flagship store opening up in dumbo. yeah! we have a bubby's, too. soon, there will be no reason to go into manhattan.

i've never had the lingonberry juice, OR the meatballs. i will have to check them out next time i go to ikea.

Posted by: jeannette at October 9, 2003 12:16 PM


Posted by: aaa at October 12, 2003 5:12 PM

lol...i just got a job at ikea assembling furniture...you think it's bad when you buy it, try doing it as a job...it is pretty easy though...

Posted by: Roderigo Sanchez at July 18, 2004 11:16 PM

Wow. I stumbled upon this at 5am while looking up Lingonberry Juice (because Im addicted to it and I dont feel like treking 30mi out to my local Ikea). You're absolutly right. Isn't it marketing genius? I of course take as MANY of those great Ikea bags as I can, because like signs say "we keep cost down"..when I take 50 Ikea bags to use for trash i can keep cost down!!!

Oh and the damn desks..wow...Swedes must be hellas strong to screw those damn wood screws with a plain ol screwdriver in. Where's my included-hex-driver!

Posted by: Jonathan at February 12, 2006 5:10 AM

what in the world is this fascinating tiny round fruit, the lingonberry and why is it so tasty? It's right up there with acai in my book. I paid $10 for this ikea bed from a neighbor two years ago and it's super. I have this great peanut desk, two bookshelves end tables and more from this terrible/wonderful place ikea. I even have sets of reusable bright picnic plasticware and four place settings of silly looking silverware (complete with uber tiny spoons-what was I thinking?) for dining. Oh well. It's sooo affordable though! I'd take days of getting lost in Ikea to Walmart or even Target shopping any day.

Posted by: William at January 10, 2007 12:39 AM

Nope ! It just sux all around ! I bought three beds and dressers from them and COULD NOT get it assembled correctly to save my life !

The scienece behind it was ridiculous ! You mean to tell me two long metal brackets the width and weight of a dry cleaners hanger is supposed to support pine slats, a mattress and me!? and it's connected to PRESSED WOOD !?

What the hell .. everything fell apart and didn't last a week.

Posted by: Loren at July 22, 2007 6:48 PM

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