August 17, 2003

"welcome to the sg, bitch."

POST #    302

so my love for sports guy columns is well known, and friday's was great. it was the classic sports guy mailbag column. anyone that likes sports or pop-culture should probably read the column. basically, if you have any soul whatsoever, you should enjoy this column. i would have commented about it friday, i hear there was some sort of power outage...

Posted by tien mao in Sports at 10:07 AM



there are so many good questions and answers, but here are some shorter ones:

Q: Besides Rusty Kuntz, has anyone in Major League Baseball had a more enjoyable name than Oddibe McDowell? -- Tom Gass, Beverly, Mass.

SG: Are you trying to rip Coco Crisp's heart out? Doesn't he deserve at least a token mention? And what about Dick Pole? By the way, I love the fact that somebody named "Tom Gass" asked this question.

Q: It's that time of year again. "Madden '04" is going to arrive very shortly. Being the fabulous Sports Gal that I am to my boyfriend, he gets it as a birthday gift. What can we expect from "Madden '04" that will give me more "Sarah Time" then I'll know what to do with? -- Sarah W., Tewksbury, Mass.

SG: Two words: Owner mode. Maybe the greatest football game invention since that glorious year in "Madden" when you could break people's legs after the whistle, and it made that sick crunching sound. I'm not even ready to start talking about "Owner Mode" yet. Might warrant its own column.
[note: the bone crunching hits after the whistle really was the greatest feature ever.]

Q: What types of non-sporting events do you bet on? We recently attended a wedding in Atlantic City, and had the following lines in play:

1. Number of bridesmaids: +/- 6
2. Number of ice sculptures: +/- 3
3. Length of church service: +/- 45 minutes
4. Time when first drunk guest makes a fool out of themselves: +/- 9.30 p.m.

Any ideas for other events? -- Mike K., Philadelphia

3. Groom's horny friend starts grinding on the dance floor with somebody's attractive cousin who isn't 21 yet (even odds): And somebody's mother is always horrified. You can usually see this one coming. As an aside, I was delighted when this exact scenario happened at my wedding. It was a dream come true.

5. Token slutty bridesmaid goes after a waiter, band member, or any friend of the groom attending the wedding without his girlfriend (wager $400 to win $100): Easy money. When you mix the emotions of "I'm sad because my friend's getting married and I'm still single" with "I'm horny and drunk" and "Everyone looks good because we're all dressed up," just about anything's possible. They probably can't make these odds high enough.

I think I might have some soul, but I'm not sure whether I have sole -- will I still enjoy the column?

Posted by: JK at August 20, 2003 11:11 AM


also, you should read this week's TMQ, if you haven't yet. maybe you can print it out to read on your flight. because it takes that long to read.

Posted by: tien at August 20, 2003 11:17 AM

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